halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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