Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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