Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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