the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
