you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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