Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize