I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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