So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
