As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
