I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
