My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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