she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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