I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
