Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize