She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
