Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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