There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
