i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
