I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
