Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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