Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
