why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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