gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Randomize
