you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Houston, we have a blender
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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