So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She even gives head with a lisp.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
