Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
