were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
