we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
