that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
there is glitter all over my balls
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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