I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
