i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Panties = found
Randomize