She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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