How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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