Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My breasts were aching with rage.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
