I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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