he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
