I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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