I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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