I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize