this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Let's get the cat blown out
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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