Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
