I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
