I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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