uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
