I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
