Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
