I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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