They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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