Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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