He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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