I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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