i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its not stalking. its research.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize