i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
