YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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