I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
