i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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