just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
