But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
