i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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